Emotional Pressures to Emotional Independence Part-2

I hope you have gone through Part-1 of this blog. If you haven't, click here

Now comes the most important thing, emotional independence. Now that you are rediscovering yourself and your happiness, there can be people around you, who will try to pull you down, poke you, and stop you; and your mind being a trained ringmaster might again play tricks. But this is the time you need to stand for yourself and tell a big YES to your emotions that give you happiness. And thus start developing emotional independence by always telling yourself that your happiness is in your hands. Nobody in the world can make you sad, it will be always your decision to accept happiness or sorrow.

It's an obvious human tendency to feel bad if somebody hurts you. But to ensure that it doesn’t affect your life is in your hands. That's what is called emotional independence.

For e.g. imagine one of your closest friends called you and said that he or she is being hospitalized. How will you feel at that point of time? You will feel bad, you will feel sad & sorry for your friend. But that's not gonna impact your life. You will live your life the way you have lived. You will not compromise on anything. But when it comes to your friend, you will have an entirely different way to deal with it. In the same way, if anyone is not being good with you or hurting you, you may feel bad but don’t let that impact your life or your happiness. You should only keep the person in mind. When you communicate back with the same person you can communicate accordingly, you need not have to be good. But, don’t let it impact your life. So, this is a practice you should follow along with ensuring that the SECTION B of your life should always remain green. I hope you know what I am saying.

I know it's very very difficult to ignore certain things and certain people at times. Because it hurts that badly or it might seem that your happiness and your dreams are getting compromised. But don't lose yourself, go to a secluded place, take a pen and paper, write down everything you are feeling at that time. Now, again write down or refer to the list that makes you happy; listen to music or watch some TV show forcefully; grab a drink - coffee , tea, lemonade or even cocktails; go out for a stroll. Anything is fine. Or even call up your friend. (I will leave a link below where you can find good friends). Just calm down and be prepared to be strong and confident. Never stay quiet, always open up. Next time if someone pokes you in your happiness, all that you need to do is - very confidently, very strongly, with a smile on your face give them a solid reply. Speak what you feel. Something like, “If you want to think bad about me it's your choice, I don't need to prove myself to you” or “I am doing what I feel like, if you have a problem what can I do”. But never fight or argue, despite the hurt. Come home and you take care of yourself.

Because if someone says something bad, and you take it as your problem then it will be your problem. But if you ignore and stay chill and relaxed, believe me, that will be their problem. Never bring bad people problems with you, leave it to them. They will automatically stop troubling you in a while.

(I know with someone whom you love, if things go bad things are totally different, we will have a different blog for that. But still follow the same pattern to attain emotional independence as it is only and only for you.)

(Note: There is difference between standing up for yourself and defending yourself.

If you speak for yourself being strong and confident with a calm mind it's called standing up for yourself, It surely helps. Only people with guts can do this.

But if you are fighting or shouting and losing your own peace, it's called defending yourself. It never helps, Only cowards do this)

So please stand up for yourself, live all your happiness, get total control of your life in your own hands, and be nice to yourself and to others, and STOP FINDING REASONS.

And when you will do this successfully, automatically to your surprise, the SECTION A part will turn green. Let me take another example to support you more:. Let's say you are wearing a black dress and someone said bluntly that you are looking terrible in black. Now, there can be 2 things

1. If the other person is right, then you should not feel bad. If you feel bad, you will never try to change your looks. But, if you don’t feel bad you will accept what the other person is saying and you will try to present yourself in a better way. CONCLUSION: Feeling bad is your own harm.

2. If the other person is wrong, you should definitely not feel bad for the fact that the other person does not have the capability to appreciate beauty. But, if you feel bad, you will get uncomfortable wearing something in which you really look beautiful. CONCLUSION: Feeling bad is your own harm.

So, stop feeling bad and tell yourself that whatever others feel or say you don’t bother as long as you feel you are perfect, you feel you are right, you feel you are living your SECTION B in a green zone. just ignore such kinds of people and you will always find that you are emotionally independent.

It's your life and you need to make a decision whether it should be you or others that decide your happiness.

It's your life, make a decision. If you wanna keep on feeling bad for every small thing about what others say or what others feel, then go on - accept your life, leave your life in others hands, and sacrifice your emotions for others. At least be content that you wanted this and you are getting this. Don’t cry. Else, get up; roll your sleeves; and get the control of your life in your hands and live with emotional independence.

About the wonderful App to find alike friends

In your journey you might be seeking good friends who can be like you, who can understand you, who can be of your age, someone with a similar lifestyle, someone with similar likes and dislikes, someone with similar relationship status, and same gender. It seems a lot difficult to find such kind of friends especially as a grown up with whom you can be yourself right??? If you try to find friends online, all you get is freaky dating apps and people with crazy intentions.

But there is one place. Surprising and exciting right!!

There is an App called We3, (I am not getting sponsored to suggest this App). I am suggesting as I personally found such friends through this App and I am seeing me and my friends are benefiting a lot with this. And I want you guys to take this support and find friends to open up in your journey.

Please do check

We3 android app

we3app.com

Find friends of your kind and help yourself in your journey. Trust me when you find friends across the world who can listen to you and who like you, you will really feel good about yourself.