Journey from Failure to Success

Failing again & again - never got to know why? Let’s find out & be successful

Has this ever happened to you that you kept on trying and you feel that you are doing everything correct? But, still there is a lot of dissatisfaction as you see failure. I am sure you are into one of those situations or you might have encountered such situations, hence, you are here.

Many times in life, you try to achieve success in small things. e.g. you try to do everything perfect at work but still you don’t get a successful career. Either the boss is not happy or you are not getting a promotion. Another e.g., in family, you try to do everything correct but the family is still not happy with you. And you try to figure out, where are you going wrong? What is that one thing you didn’t do? Why is there so much dissatisfaction? You don’t get any answer because everything seems so right. You feel that you are so focused and you are doing everything in the right direction but then the question, why is there a failure? Why is there dissatisfaction? Let's find out.

Let's take a small example which relates to your family situation. Imagine, you wanna pluck a fruit from a tree. What will you do? Perhaps you will search for a ladder, climb the tree, and pluck the fruit. Instead, you kept your entire focus on the fruit - protecting & ensuring that nobody picks it up. Do you think you will ever get the fruit? No. You understand this very well. But the same thing when it comes to life, you miss out. Bit confusing right? Don’t worry, we will get into more details.

Now let's take another example which will relate to your career. Imagine you need to head towards north to reach to your destination. To reach in time, you get up and leave early. You start walking in north direction. So obviously you will feel that's the right thing. Now imagine, there is another person who is standing facing east while success is in the north direction. He gets up late & he stands on the bus stop facing east. But, the bus comes, picks him up, and drops him at the destination before you. Now, if at all you feel, I got up first, I got in the right direction, I didn’t waste time by standing, still why did I reach late? You know why? You will say obviously, instead of running I should have taken the bus. But when it comes to life, we miss these kinds of little clarity which make us unsuccessful over & over again and we are puzzled - why. Now, let's get into 2 small stories this time to better understand both examples.

There was a family - wife, husband, and 2 children. The wife gets up early every morning to ensure the family gets breakfast in time, gets their lunch packed. She also ensures that everyone wakes up in time and reaches office & school in time with their lunch boxes. When the family comes back home, she tries to ensure that they get everything in time. Nobody can say this is wrong. Now the question is, is this right? The lady engrossed herself so much in the family that she missed to take care of her own self, to see what she likes. She forgot her own happiness so basically she is not valuing her own self. Whatever she tries, she never gets respect. Moreover, if she misses out even one single thing, she gets complaints & disrespectful behavior. She has been taken for granted. She tries even more to ensure the family stays happy without any complaints. But, she keeps getting failed. She tries even more by asking each & every member of the family - what do you want? But, she continuous to get failed. She doesn’t get any respect. After the family leaves, she sits alone - at times cries, at times vents out over the same questions. Why? Where did I go wrong? What did I do wrong? But, however she questions, there wasn’t any answer. Then, one day something happened.

Instead of just focusing on the happiness of family, she started to focus on herself. She started to focus on what she likes, how she looks. She started taking time out for herself. And she felt that she is also a human being. She needs to value herself. She is not there just to serve the family. She can make her own decisions. She can take a break. And one day, she wrote a letter and left it in the living room saying that "I need a break, I am tired so I am visiting my parents’ place. It is the same way that you get holidays & summer vacations. I have been serving this family for 10 years, I deserve a break." That’s the first time, family understands her contribution. They don’t know anything, they don't have any discipline. They couldn’t get up in time & didn’t know how to pack their lunch boxes. There was nobody to take care or nobody to ask about their choices. But that realization was not enough. After 10 days, when the lady came back, the family thought that we can get back to our lives - lazy lives. But that did not happen. The lady got up as usual, she took shower, she nicely got dressed, she prepared the breakfast, and she was happily sitting & listening to the music. When the family got up, they asked why you didn’t wake us up, do this, do that? The questions were pouring. The lady sitting out there smartly dressed, looking very confident said "I got up by myself in time, I prepared breakfast & lunch. I am up to date with my own duties. You should take your own responsibility and do the things which you should do by yourself. I am a human being, I have every right to be happy and I will do everything that makes me happy. Making breakfast, preparing lunch, taking care of my family is my love and loving my family is my happiness. Taking care of myself is loving my own self & loving myself gives me happiness. But living your responsibilities is a burden. That should be your happiness. You live your responsibilities, your happiness and I will live mine." With the commendable confidence the lady displayed, which she attained just by giving importance to herself & giving value to her own happiness, she forced the family to respect her. In other words, if you need respect from your family, you should focus on doing the right thing. Your family will respect you automatically. Just like if you need a fruit, you don’t focus or run behind the fruit. You just do the right thing and the fruit is all yours. Even if it is not yours, believe yourself, you have done the best & you will get the best. Maybe you might get a basket of fruits. Because, what you sow is what you reap.

Let's get into another story. There is a guy, very hardworking, very intelligent, and very obedient. He works very hard, finishes his work in time, follows everything that his boss says. Every year he expects a promotion and appreciation but all he gets is failure. Someone else gets the promotion. When he asks about the same to his boss, he gets a feedback - a couple of improvements here & there. He improves in all those areas & works hard again but the same story repeats over & over again. He always finds some kind of dissatisfaction in his boss. He never gets promoted. He always has a question - why? What did I do wrong? I get up in time, I do things in time, I do things in the right way, I always follow my boss. But, why do I fail? Same questions - that we had in the bus example. Right!!! Because of this, the guy loses hope, his confidence, and somewhere he starts to feel that he is not worth it. However he tries to get the answer to this question - why, what is he is doing wrong, he never finds an answer. Here too one day something magical happens. He realizes that he is not happy, he is not content, he is not doing the things that make him happy. He has stopped sharing his opinions. Rather, he was only being a puppet & was running behind one thing - promotion. Since he has already understood that whatever he does, he is not going to get promotion; he decided that he will do what makes him happy. He opens up with his opinions, his suggestions and unknowingly he ends up doing things which gave him deep down satisfaction. And that day, the wisdom of life glows in him. He discovers that he was being treated like a slave, and he is being used because he is letting everyone use him. He never respected or valued his own opinions, his intelligence, his smartness. Rather, he started running behind one thing i.e. promotion because of which he failed to understand the right things. And the right thing always says be smart, be yourself, stand up for yourself, and do the things which make you happy instead of running a crazy race.

Initially, the boss was not happy with him because boss is habitual of using him. But that's ok. He is not working for others' happiness, he is working for his own happiness. He continues to be himself, standing up and speaking for right & wrong. And again with a commendable confidence, when he got the ability to speak up strongly, the boss was forced to respect him & listen to him. The best part is - the day the guy stood up for himself, he was called from a different organization for a better role (its the job he applied one day out of frustration). He proudly left the previous job & his boss and walked into the new organization as a changed & confident man.

So you should never run behind the direction where there is a success. At times, its ok to take a break, and look for what is right. Because when you fail again & again it means there is something that is missing and that is only & only inside you. If you ask a question, what was I doing wrong you will never ever get the answer because the question is wrong. Never ask what did I do wrong? Because, the right question is what is the right thing I should do that will make me happy & give me content. Find the answer & just do it. Because, if you are not happy & you are not content - how will you find success? You will be failure over & over again. Because many times in life you don’t need to chase the things you want. You need to chase things which make you happy & content. And the success will come to you. At times in life, you might not get what you dreamed of. Don’t be disappointed as you will get something better than you dreamed of because you deserve it for being good & for doing the right things. So just wait for it. Because best things do take time. Believe in yourself and always focus on yourself. Life will never change until unless you change the perspective and the way you live life. So simple changes in life like right perspective will create huge difference and bring abundant success.

People usually underestimate themselves & look for small dreams. When they don’t get it, they demotivate themselves. But, do the right thing (like we talked so far), you will get much bigger things. So stay positive. If your small dream is not being successful, its because something big is gonna happen which you truly deserve. Now that's called a real success.

Where there is no value, no respect, there is only failure. But where there is value & respect, there is only & only success. So get up, value your life, feelurlife. Do anything to feel good about yourself. To start with - go to a saloon or parlor & do a makeover, do everything that will make you feel good about yourself. That's where the inner confidence gets generated. Hold that confidence & move on.

P.S. These are generic stories but if you have your own story wherein you need any suggestions or help to transform your journey from failure to success, please feel free to reach me out. Because, your one success will be my success in the journey of feelurlife blog.